Behind the door | Tired of “having sex”, want to “make love”

Lydia* had many relationships in her life. To repeat. And lots of sex. Of the love ? Little. And she is “tanned”. Interview with a serial monogamist in deep reflection.

Posted yesterday at 5pm

Silvia Galipeau

Silvia Galipeau
The press

We’ve been exchanging emails for over six months. Through missed dates, we finally met earlier this summer on his sunny North Shore balcony. His testimony looks like a shopping list, but also like a balance sheet. And basically in a curve.

“I’ve had some goddamn relationships!” exclaims the dynamic 53-year-old blonde, both spontaneous and laughing, lucid and dreamy, in a burst of laughter among many others. I am tired ! I don’t want it anymore! I only want one! »

She tells herself without being asked, even though her memories are a little confused. We don’t hide from him that we sometimes lose the thread. But whatever. The main thing lies elsewhere: in his reflections on his pleasure (and pretending, because yes, Lydia “wrong”!) and his new priorities now, at 50.

only that

your first time? Around 18, with a simple friend, and yes, it’s a disappointment. “Oh yes, exactly that! she giggles. I was not thrilled. She spends the next two years with a boyfriend (her first love, a guy she met earlier in her teens), but sex isn’t really that. I didn’t really enjoy it. »

It is at 20 that it “tumbles”. “The rush,” she says. Long story short, and to make it short, after a heartbreak (which we don’t really remember), she’s juggling four relationships at once. “Here’s the one party. “But no, she doesn’t take her foot anymore. “Perhaps it is more the pleasure of seduction. Lydia, rather reserved, shy, downright uncomfortable in her own skin as a teenager, becomes fully aware of her charm here. “Hug, I’m banging! “, she realised. And it’s doing him great good.

She has a lover then, a story that lasts four years. In bed ? Not better: “Right, nothing more. »

Then, at around 30, Lydia met her “fiancé”, the man of her life, as she says, as she believes.

I liked that, sex with him. I think because I loved him. That’s the story. So I thought he was pretty cute.

Lydia, 53 years old

But no, she doesn’t have an orgasm with him either. At least she doesn’t remember. “It can’t have happened often,” she laughs.

Note that he probably doesn’t know. She won’t tell us until later, but yes, Lydia is faking an orgasm. “Oh yes, she’s laughing! I am able! I’m a good actress. If I wanted it to end, or if it was normal, I have fake. I’m telling you: I’m a good actress! But why? “I must be hard to please. Or the type is ordinary. »

Clarification: not just with this guy in particular, but with all of his associates in general. Except the last ones. You’ll see.

Despite this, the fiancé in question leaves her after about three years. “The worst heartbreak of my entire life. Lydia goes out to forget, believes in a one-night stand that ultimately lasts for two years. And then ? ” Right. No, wait, fine. Yes, yes, fine. Maybe I’ll let myself go a little more. »

Then, in her late thirties, she spent six years (‘my longest relationship’) with yet another man, with whom it wasn’t the ‘high point’. She cheats on him to see if his libido is somewhere else. And she is.

In fact, and as the years have passed, Lydia has finally started to find her pleasure. “I have a lot more joy and joy. That’s when I know I’m multiorgasmic, I saw the difference! “How? Why that? A “let go” she says, and then partners who know better “what to do with age”, she believes.

should i have waited

It cannot be invented: Lydia leaves this man (and this lover) to become the mistress of her first lover, then her ex-fiancé. you follow ? Regardless, the best is yet to come. “Until I say to myself: I don’t want to anymore,” she says. I found it difficult to just be the mistress at some point…”

She’s moving back into relationships (we’ve lost count), and we seriously begin to wonder where this is all taking us when Lydia suddenly stops. And think out loud. “No, I really haven’t been single for long,” she confirms, shaking her head. But would it have been different if I hadn’t prioritized sex? “We ask him to explain himself: ‘For me, the important thing in life is to have good sex,'” she replies. But yes, if you have sex quickly, you have a sexual connection, but that doesn’t mean that you get along well with that person on a day-to-day basis. So we understand his question: “Should I have waited? »

Because she knows: “I can count on my hand how many times I’ve been in love. […] But have I learned to MAKE love? […] It’s sad: I haven’t made love often in my life. »

But today, at the age of 53, she wants exactly that. What she is looking for.

And surprise: in fact, Lydia has been dating a man she met online for a few months now, and this time, believe it or not, it’s a hit. “I discovered my body, what I like, I let myself go. And he has experience. “. That’s not all. She’s in love. Better you guessed it: “I MAKE love!” She closes with a smile.

* Fictitious name to maintain anonymity

Leave a Comment