Life is short, and even a keen columnist does not have time to pay homage to all that makes politics an irreplaceable laboratory for the study of human nature.
Posted at 6:00 am
Here, then, in a pure spirit of goodwill, is a gala celebrating the best of the worst in Quebec politics.
When Benoit Charette speaks, you want to have a bucket of cold water poured in your face. The sympathetic Minister of the Environment, without emotion, repeats that everything is fine until everyone in the room faints. Well, almost all. The Commissioner for Sustainable Development found that “almost all” green plans did not contain any indicators or targets. Mr. Charette claimed she got mixed up with the appointments. Not really, the commissioner replied in essence. Here is a being that is immune to hypnosis.
Award for occupational safety and health protection
The budget is presented in camera. It is forbidden to use the internet or mobile phone or even to leave the room. However, members are permitted to smoke outside under police escort. Everyone accepts the rules except for Claire Samson. The security service is called because of the smell of cigarettes in the room… The conservative defector denies the guilt. Shortly after, she is angry at not being able to return to the congregation in the middle of the closed session. Many police officers surround him. Meanwhile, other politicians and journalists read the budget carefully.
According to his own statements, Mr.me Samson worked harder when she was a waitress at Da Giovanni. Oddly enough, she seems to think other people are to blame.
Native Friendship Center Award
The jury did not deliberate on this for long. Pierre Dufour, Minister for Forests, Wildlife and Parks, wins the statuette. He had the daring idea of blaming the Innu for the disappearance of the caribou. The next day, a newspaper headline read, “Minister Attacks Tribal Peoples,” which is always evidence of a successful communications plan…
In his defence, the minister could say he takes the same approach to the caribou. No discrimination, everyone is attacked with equal finesse.
Digital Transformation Award
Intergovernmental Affairs Secretary Sonia LeBel will stop at nothing to text requests to the federal government, receive a refusal, and then delete the message.
A good Hillary Clinton emulator, she assures her she has nothing to hide. In fact, she doesn’t have a win to show for it… Next step: send a carrier pigeon to Ottawa. He could carry his vision of federalism: the main thing is to take part.
Team Player Award
Catherine Dorion is mistakenly referred to as the Solidarity Officer. On Friday she left Parliament without hearing the farewells of other MPs. She says that the National Assembly is “outdated” and that the Caquistes, regardless of Solidarity’s interventions, “do not harm what they want”. She didn’t even mention the gains her party was making, particularly on rental rates. A timid support for his colleagues who will seek a new mandate… What is the use of voting for them if they are useless?
Funny video award
Québec solidaire wanted to abolish the oath to the queen. The CAQ has called for a vote to allow the Liberals to defend the British monarchy. How do you say ? This mishap is reminiscent of a VHS tape sent to the defunct show funny video. Young Sol Zanetti would brandish his rake there and attack the Queen’s Scarecrow. His friend Simon Jolin-Barrette suggests dropping him off, then calls his friend Marc Tanguay, waving a red rag. Angry, Marc throws himself and eats the rake in the gum. It would be funny if it wasn’t so predictable.
Adquist of the Year Award
The mayor of Quebec is “polluting the livelihood of motorists” with his tram, Mr. Cairo denounced in March. The La Peltrie member has a very personal definition of pollution. Greenhouse gases are good for him. Cyclists, walkers, and other communists who refuse to keep the economy going by moving are bad. As if science were relative and pollution a matter of feelings…
In another time, ADQ activists would have applauded. Unfortunately for Mr Caire, they switched to the Conservative Party.
Lucien Bouchard and the PQ
It’s always sad to see people fighting at funerals. Mr. Bouchard and his party offered a “2 for 1” special this spring. At the foot of Jacques Parizeau’s brand new statue, at the start of René Lévesque’s 100th birthday, he saw fit to get even with his former team. In his opinion, the Parti Québécois is a “worn-out vehicle” that “doesn’t deserve to run very well” and that people “don’t want anymore”.
“More butter,” François Legault would have reacted when he tasted his popcorn.
A good manager knows how to set priorities. So Eric Girard flew to New York to kiss Gary Bettman’s ring. As the NHL’s Napoleon finished his crossword puzzle, Mr. Girard asked him to bring a hockey club back to Quebec. My information is that Mr Bettman would have congratulated him on his promotion to Minister responsible for the hypothetically hoped but unlikely return of the Nordic countries. Incidentally, Mr Girard is still at the helm of the nation’s finances.
As the late Gerry used to say, “Ayoye.” Dominique Anglade started the language debate with a plan of 27 nationalist-tinged proposals. French courses in English-speaking CEGEPs, that was his party’s idea. She ends the session by demonstrating with those who think the law goes too far. She now supports those who denounce her party’s proposal. No vehicle is designed to reverse at this speed.
Baby of the Year Award
Québec solidaire’s co-spokesman wants to ditch his red square image. He watches his clothes and speaks calmly. And most importantly, he does not hesitate to remember that he is now a father. How not to trust a young father who is carrying one of Quebec’s fragile hopes in his arms? Her baby appears on Instagram, in official party photos and elsewhere on social media. Only the missing 7 days.
Price Ave Maria
Paul St-Pierre Plamondon
In football, a Ave Maria is a long pass late in the game, sent like a prayer in hopes that a recipient will perform a miracle. It’s a bit like the PQ leader who suggested capping the price of gas, despite it being a measure that is both inapplicable and anti-ecological. But let’s not blame him too much. His health and home care plans, while serious, have received little media coverage. He attracts attention as he can.
Frédéric-Back Urbanism Prize
François Bonnardel is the man who planted highways around which there was theoretically a tree in the first version of the project model. In his eyes, urban densification is “a trend”. He prefers to hand out bits of asphalt to voters. A 1940s style that never goes out of style.
Patriot of the Year Award
You are in the PLQ. The French speakers leave your raft. Their leader makes a desperate nationalist turn. how do you help her If you’re André Fortin, the answer is by doing a little volunteer work for Justin Trudeau’s campaign over the summer, even as he meddles in Quebec’s jurisdiction and refuses to collect healthcare transfers. And most importantly, without telling your boss, Dominique Anglade. That’s a real patriot.
Award for the Hearing Impaired
Rarely has a bill been rejected so unanimously. For months, the Minister for Energy and Natural Resources has been told not to relax controls on electricity tariffs. He insisted on linking them to inflation. His ill-fated law was enacted under a gag order. The inevitable happened. He ends the session with another calculation to correct his mistake. Due to time constraints, it will not be accepted.